Relationships aren’t always peaches n’ cream.
I’m sure we all have an idea as to how difficult relationships can be. That being said, it’s important to realize that loving that person shouldn’t be the difficult part. The difficult part should be the outside forces that are working on it. I’ve been in both types of relationships.
I’ve had to force myself to love someone and I’ve had to try to calm my tits about loving another. I have to say, I’m a pretty lucky gal to have experienced (be experiencing) a love like that. But shit still gets hard. You can’t always control your circumstances, but you can deal with the waves as they come. So deal with them.
Put in the work. Wake up early for that person; go to bed late for them. Do little things to show them that you care about their thoughts and feelings. Put yourself out there and show them how much love you have in your heart. You have to fill up their love bank so they’ve got something to hold onto on a rainy day. You are responsible for that. Sure, the modern world tells us that we should find joy in ourselves or things, but it’s not true. It doesn’t make you weak to have a bit of dependence on someone, it makes you brave.
You are brave for loving that person because people leave. They do. It’s not easy when it happens, but quite frankly, without the experience of pure and utter shit, you wouldn’t know what true love and joy feels like. So trust your heart, it might get a bit banged up, but it’s worth it.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed with the thought that something is missing, look at yourself. Look at your emotions and how you are perceiving the situation. Don’t blame it on the other person’s inability to be all that you want at every moment of the day; if you do that, you’re bound to be let down. Don’t expect perfection; expect imperfection and love them for it. Love them for trying.
I am so guilty of expecting myself to be perfect all the time and punishing myself when I’m not. It’s not fair to me and, quite frankly, it’s not fair to him. It’s something that I’m working on, but hey, I’m imperfect and hopefully he can love those sneaky imperfections while they morph into some form of a more emotionally stable person.
Life is hard. Once you get used to the idea that everyone is a bit banged up, it makes it easier to forgive yourself for the bumps and bruises you’re trying to mend. If you’re hurting, go lick your wounds. Take care of yourself. Open that Ben and Jerry’s pint and dive right in, the calories don’t count when your eyes are filled with tears, at least that’s what momma always told me.
Shane Koyczan said it best, “sadness is nothing more than the cost of being able to smile once in a while,” and it’s so damn true. You can’t have one without the other. I’m sure you’ve gone through some crap, those experiences might be running through your head right now, but just remember this, if you haven’t found the person who makes you forget about the shit-storm that is life, they’ll be there soon. Maybe their train is a bit late, who knows. Don’t worry though, they’ll show up and when they do, it’s okay to ask them, “what took you so long?” Odds are, they’ll tell you they’ve been unknowingly running in your direction for years.