I have a confession to make: I need validation.
It’s not very modern, but it is very honest. Sure, lots of people will think that’s weak of me to say, but it’s true. It’s an innate human quality that cannot be over looked or ever totally snuffed out. It’s in our DNA. From birth we need to have some form of validation; we need to know that someone understands our emotions, our feelings, our needs, so they can meet them for us when we are incapable of doing so ourselves.
Please stop trying to kid yourself, that doesn’t just go away. It’s okay to need to feel validated. Quite honestly, I sit on my computer or check my phone to see if anyone has liked my posts or commented way too often, but that’s because your opinion of me does matter. Why is it that we so regularly try to pretend that we don’t care what others think?
I’m guilty of doing that myself, I must admit.
In my late teen years, I pretended I didn’t give a crap about anyone’s opinions of me, but I was lying to myself. It’s like when you’re telling yourself you’re choosing to be celibate because you haven’t gotten any in a while. Well friends, slap the sign on my forehead because I’m open for business.
I. Do. Care.
We all do. It’s okay to admit that to yourself even if you can’t tell your friends. But guess what! If you can’t tell them, it’s because you need the validation and want them to like you, and that’s okay. That’s the whole damn point of this rambling post. We all need people to validate us, to make us feel like we have something to say that’s worth listening to.
I am lucky enough to have someone that I can talk to and know that he’s listening even if he isn’t responding. Sometimes you need to have that little monologue and just get your thoughts out, but it’s so important to be able to share them with someone else; it makes it feel real. It makes it feel like they actually matter.
I think we’ve all had that experience when we’re trying to tell someone something that you’re super excited about but no one is listening and you just give up about halfway through; it makes you feel a bit like crap. We’ve all been there and if you haven’t, then you’ve got some pretty bomb ass friends. Tell them to call me because I need that in my life.
So, friends, do your best. Let people know that their thoughts, feelings, and ideas matter to you. Make sure they feel listened to. We all just want to figure out our own mind and sometimes, in order to do so, we have to share with others. Validate others and they will in turn validate you. Listen up and actually give them the time of day, because maybe no one else has before. There’s a first for everything, so be that first for them.
P.S. If the title of this post reminded you of The Beatles, here’s the song you’re looking for.