I’ll be me; you be you.
Accept who your partner is and what they love. Appreciate their views and respect their opinions. Make them feel heard and loved. It’s too easy to accidentally allow someone to feel unloved by passing over the things they care for or by ignoring their feelings. It’s something you learn from experience. It truly is. In my very limited dating experience, I’ve learned how important that is. I’ve had boyfriends that I liked but didn’t even pretend to care about the things they enjoyed and vice versa.
You realize how much that can hurt someone when you’re the one dealing with the indifference. I’m not saying you have to love every single thing they do or even slightly agree with them on every topic, but it’s important that you two at least have the same basic foundation. If you don’t, it might be time to reevaluate that relationship.
The boyf and I don’t agree on everything, we don’t even like all of the same things, and I’m glad for it! I love how different we are and I think it’s so important to have those differences. You don’t want to date yourself, that’s just no fun. He might not like dancing, but knowing that he’s willing to dance with me sometimes makes my heart flutter because I love dancing and I want to share that with him. I’m not a huge fan of Star Wars (don’t kill me), but I’m more than willing to watch them with him because he likes them. Who knows, maybe I’ll become a nerdy Star Wars person because of him, I’m okay with that. I’m open to loving some of the things he loves, but that metal music will just never be my fav, sorry babe.
Regardless of our differences, we’ve got the kind of foundation that can last us a lifetime. We’ve got basically the same sense of humor. We tell inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times. We can talk about anything from religion to politics and we’re respectful of each others opinions even if we disagree. We do our best to make sure that the other person feels cared for and loved because we do love each other.
But we love each other differently. If you want to show your partner love in a way that is meaningful for them, you need to learn your partner’s love language and try to speak to them in that way. For instance, my main love language is Quality Time followed by Words of Affirmation; this is what makes me feel loved and cared for, but if my partner’s love language is something like Physical Touch or Acts of Service, then that is how he feels loved and is how I should try to show him I love him. It might seem a bit weird at first, but it’s really nice to know how your partner feels loved because it allows you to at least attempt to love them in a way that is meaningful to them. If you’re interested in finding out your love language you should totally take the free test by clicking here and suggest that your partner does the same.
If your relationship is struggling, look and try to figure out why. If they’re belittling things you love, your opinions, your ideas, your dreams, get out. You deserve to be with someone who loves and supports you at all times. That’s not to say that fights aren’t going to happen, because they are. You can’t escape them, but you need to know how to handle them and keep the love alive while you do. Kiss them if they love being kissed; spend time with them if that’s how they feel loved; do what you can to show that you care.
Don’t let that love fade away. If it’s true, it’s worth the fight.
P.S. If the title of this post reminded you of Whitney Houston, click the link and support a badass baby blogger like myself.