Lub Dub

Each beat brings us closer.

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I love the feeling of a heartbeat. I remember learning a little trick in nursing school; if you close your eyes and focus on the feeling against your fingertips as you hold them to a patient’s wrist, you can feel the beat more clearly. I didn’t notice it while I was pressing my fingers against their skin, but when you stop and think about it, that beat holds so much information; without it, there would be nothing to tell.

I read years ago, that if you place your hand on a loved one’s chest and they do the same, your heartbeats can sync together. It may not be entirely true, as my research has been mostly inconclusive, but it’s such a pretty thought. I have always gone through life with the notion that I am a single entity and that my body and my effect stops and the border of my skin; but what if that’s not true? What if there is more than meets the eye?

I’d like to think that I am my own person. I’m different. No one knows the thoughts that bounce within my head nor do they know what I’m dreaming of as I sleep; part of me will always be mysterious. Part of me will be mine unless I choose to share it; I always thought my heart was a bit like that. But I’ve come to a point in my life where I want to take everyone’s fingers and place them upon my wrist, tell them to close their eyes, and realize that this voice wouldn’t be speaking to them without the beat that they feel. I want them to realize that without this heart, something we all have, I wouldn’t be here. It’s such a basic idea, but I feel that it’s one we often overlook.

I pray that one day, someone will be so in tune to this heartbeat that the moment it goes silent, they’ll feel it. They’ll place their fingers upon my wrist and long for the warm beat that once pulsed below the surface. I think we all want that; we all want to know that when the end comes, we’ll be missed. We want to know that our heartbeat is unique and when it is no more, someone will notice. Maybe it will change the way their heart beats as well. Maybe they’ll feel it in a way we never expected. I’d like to believe that they won’t feel alone; that they can close their eyes and focus on the heart that beats within them and maybe it will feel just like mine did.

-LP

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