10 Vows your Bride Wants to Hear; a 23 year-old Divorcée’s Perspective

Wedding season is quickly approaching and you might feel a bit freaked out and overwhelmed when it comes to writing your vows. Odds are, your bride probably has an idea of what she longs to hear from you on her wedding day.

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You may have decided to write your own vows or at least adjust them to fit your life; if so, check out this list:

  1. I promise to fight for you and for us; even when it feels like I should be on the other team.
  2. I promise to pursue you above all else.
  3. I promise to hold you in my arms on cold nights, after hard days, during times of joy, and during times of pain.
  4. I swear to hold onto us even when I feel like letting go.
  5. I vow to stand beside you through it all, to lead you through what comes our way, and to protect you, to the best of my ability, from the rain of life.
  6. I promise to be open and honest with you about my expectations of our marriage.
  7. I will listen to you when you come to me with your worries; I will do my damnedest to not invalidate your feelings, but to try to understand why you feel that way. And when I have worries of my own, I will share them with you.
  8. I promise to try my hardest at being the husband, friend, and partner that you need me to be.
  9. I will make decisions that affect us and our family, with our best interest at heart and without leaving you in the dark.
  10. I promise to love you, even when if I don’t think you deserve it, because you are my wife and therefore deserve a soft spot in my heart, even when it feels like stone.

Every bride has the dream of what her betrothed will say to her while vowing to love her, but words are empty if you don’t mean them. So before compiling your vows, look at each one and determine if you can honestly say, at the end of each day you will fulfill these to the best of your ability.

It’s easy to make promises you don’t intend to keep, because the words taste too damn sweet as the dance across your tongue. If you’re vowing to love her; love her. If you’re promising to fight fair; fight fair. I would much rather hear you promise to try to not eat all of my ice cream when I’m asleep in bed, or that you’ll at least think about letting me know you’ve decided to shave your head entirely bald because you found a gray hair, before you actually do it than hear you say pretty words, just because they’re pretty.

Be realistic; don’t promise to never let your relationship change. Promise instead to change with it. Promise to still love your bride, even when she’s sick and sniffly; even when the kids have been so crazy lately that she hasn’t showered in 5 days. (That would be a great time to draw a bath and send her in for some alone time, just sayin’)

Whatever you promise to you beloved; mean it. Do your best to fulfill those vows you made to each other. Put the other’s needs ahead of your own; that’s love and it sure as hell isn’t easy, but it’s worth the effort. The right one is always worth the effort.

-LP

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